The third installment in a, hopefully never ending, look into the mind of my ex-boss Denny.
Denny had a stabbin' cabin. He's moved out of state, so I'm assuming it's been sold, but maybe he has a new one in Pennsylvania. I don't really want to know or imagine what went on there. Regardless, constantly picking up waitresses at work functions, mistresses moving from out of state to be with him, and ex-assistants sending him flowers were not uncommon occurrences, all requiring this second home away from home.
Vague, lawsuit inspiring, marriage vow breaking recollections of his sexual conquests were shared at work, and always in mixed company. From the canter and obvious lack of remorse while recalling these tales, you could tell he was proud of his indiscretions. I found the idea of cheating more difficult to mentally absorb.
A girl from Kinko's was hot for me. Needing copies often, I got to know her well, and even better the short time I was employed there. After a well attended work outing, we found ourselves clearing the snow from our cars and not wanting the night to end. So, we sought shelter in her van while the ice melted from our warming vehicles. When she made a pass at me, I wanted to kiss back. Due to my crumbling, doomed marriage I had been deprived of any intimate attention for over eight months at this point, but I was married and simply couldn't reciprocate. Not even a little. I put myself into this situation, knowing what might occur, which was my only fault. Beyond that, I consider my actions a moral victory of sorts, since I hadn't succumbed to my desires.
Denny didn't like his wife's ass. While this is an ugly, embarrassing conversation to have, he made it made more so when he shared this with his female assistant. Uglier still when he complimented the assistant's ass and remarked how he wished his wife's was similar.
Another of his assistants was a Polish born, loud mouth, crass individual named Sylvia. While she would say ugly things as a rule during her short three months of employment, her heritage as a Playboy model was hard to ignore. She was hired because of her body and fired because of her incompetence. None of this prevented him from hittin' that before and after her dismissal.
Denny and his wife attended Hedonism regularly. While the dictionary definition of Hedonism is a spiritual pursuit of pleasure in it's purist form, it has been interpreted by the horny masses as a morally deficient, sexual passport. The Hedonism my ex-boss frequented featured toga parties that turned into naked romps on the beach, body painting, orgies, and wife swapping.
Being the go to tech guy in the office, Denny would often ask me to look up prices for new televisions, print a photo of him with some lame country artist, or help him attach a file to an email. One frightful afternoon I was approached in hushed tones. Along with these hushed tones he brought a digital camera, photo printer, and lack of knowledge of how to use either. While I didn't see the entire content of the camera, as I instructed him on the use of his new gadgets, I was unfortunate enough to see a few shots. I wish I could forget the vision of his wife painted in blue body-paint and his similarly colored furry thong.
Other Dennytacular reads:
Denny, The Fair and Balanced Whistler
Denny's Birthday Gift From His Fat, Fat Wife
2 comments:
this entry demanded a photoshopped picture of your monkey in a furry thong.
why would it require a photoshopped picture? you know he has his monkey in a thong at all times. i saw it in Playape 2007, the november edition. his little monkey is a straight up hottie. why do think he keeps him around? he hired his monkey as a spokesperson because of his hot ass and now he is stuck with him for fear of a lawsuit if fired. this is what he gets for tryin to hit that.
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