My car was towed while attending a Billy Ray Cyrus concert. I did have a good time at this work event, but it wasn't because of the music; The ladies and their tasseled attire provided the entertainment. None of this fashion cop fun made up for the sinking feeling I received when I turned the corner, and didn't see my ride. I stood scratching my head in the very spot previous occupied by my recently transmission challenged vehicle, and read a sign that only prohibited parking from 6am to 5pm. When my similarly stranded passenger pointed out another sign 20 feet away, that made it unlawful to park from 5pm to 6am, I knew why my car was gone.
There are too many signs in this world. Signs where there shouldn't be signs. Signs that state obvious details. Maybe it's because everyone is scared of being sued, or maybe these signs were installed as a result of such lawsuits, but I occasionally suppress the urge to physically remove them.
Considering my aversion to signs, it's ironic that I create signs for a living. While it's my job to separate kids from their allowance (and I am deeply ashamed of that,) I'm creating signs for the retail environment, where you'd expect to be assaulted by signs designed to inspire consumption. Other signs I run into, on a daily basis, instruct us on how fast to drive, that bridges might get icy in winter, and when there is a deaf child living nearby. While I don't want to run down any child with my car (not even a deaf one,) there is one rule I abide when I see one in the street: I stop.
I encounter a similar abundance of signs at my condo complex. There are signs that say you can't park in the front of the building, where to park your over-sized truck, that you must live in the complex to use the trash bins, handwritten signs with instructions for the brown clad UPS driver, and lately, signs warning everyone not to feed the geese.
The geese are migrating north or south, I don't know. What I do know is that this is the first time, in the eight years I've lived in my condo, that I've ever seen them make the front lawn their home. While dodging the neon green geese feces is a minor concern, I'm not bothered by their presence nor have I ever been tempted to provide nourishment. Feeding the geese seems like a bad idea, an obvious no-no, and a sign is not going to deter the idiot who does feed them. So, I've been taking these signs down as I see them. When they reappear, I remove them again. The last time I took one down, I decided to replace it with one of my own.
I run into signs daily that, if harmlessly tweaked, could provide humor to the weary masses. Perhaps this is the beginning as well as the end of my life as a sign vandal, and perhaps I've taken the baby step needed to jump start my vision of (if not a sign free world) a humorously tweaked sign laden world. The idea that I might make one person smile, and one humorless soul frown as they remove the offending sign, makes me smile. Maybe one day I'll make you smile, and I won't even know it.
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