I was told, weeks ago in my initial interview, that I'd hear more by April 7th. The lethargic, molasses like corporate machine just moves that slow. Waiting three weeks to hear, if I made the cut for a round two interview, inspires feelings of bleakness while I trudge through tiresome work tasks. While I haven't (as the title of this post suggests) been pestering the HR girl who interviewed me at all, I already have a friendly, inquisitive email draft ready, if the specified date comes and goes without an update.
Everyone in the company just returned from company wide meetings. This is the first year that my invite was lost in the mail and it sends a clear message: I am not part of the team anymore. With lay-offs a yearly (if not twice a year) occurrence, it's easy to see why constantly getting more work, more responsibility, and less recognition warrant my loyalty devoid indifference to this company.
To say that I've mentally checked out of this job is an accurate statement. While I'm not putting all my faith in securing this particular opportunity, I am hopeful. Hope is a word I have not been able to type or mutter for longer than I'd like to remember. I like the idea of hope. If I'm not picked to fill this position, I've at least regained knowledge of what hope feels like and will take that knowledge with me on an aggressive search for a new career.
When I started this job 13 years ago, I thought it would be a fine company to retire at. After all, it was a dream job. That said, if this new dream job doesn't pan out, I won't be sad. I'll just start actively looking, because nothing here makes me smile anymore.
4 comments:
Becoming disillusioned with your dream job is a bitch. The younger you could never imagine that it would ever be anything other than the perfect gig and the only place you'd ever want to be. But the younger you had no idea what the industry would become or how the older you would evolve into a more complex version of the younger self.
It’s a major drag going to a job that now seems empty, when at one time it was a positive driving force in your life. Try to focus on the fact that for many years you actually had the dream job, which puts you way ahead of the curve. You didn't get rich doing it, but you enjoyed going to work. It was something you could brag about. It was hard to relate to others that bitched about how crappy their jobs were. Even the rare shitty days were often not that bad, and in hindsight, were sort of exhilarating. Plus you made some good friends, got some killer experience, and you have a shitload of stories - and everybody loves a good story. Not many people get to take that much joy and personal reward from any job.
When I say I’m sad to be near the end of my career in the biz, it’s most definitely not because I’ll miss the industry of the past year or two. What I’m lamenting is the industry ten or twelve years ago. Back when it seemed like a bottomless well of opportunity. Back before most people in the biz even knew exactly what a severance package was and all anybody talked about was growth.
I’m sure it seems like time has stopped for you while waiting to hear what’s up in New Gigland. But on their end they may be racing through each day not getting to everything on their to-do lists. Hang in there. Keep your head up. And grasp onto that Hope concept. It’ll do you good. I need to invest in a little of that myself.
Good lord, I think my brief comment was longer than your post. Do I have to pay rent when that happens?
stay strong sir.
getting too down can only hurt you.
do your positive thinking and focus on what you want to do next.
start looking now and do your best to force yourself into a positive mindset.
make your happiness.
don't lament the lack thereof.
As someone who loves their job, I highly recommend it. I have been trying to convince Greg to look for the same situation but it's slow going (as are all things Greg related). They would be fools not to hire you so keep on hoping.
Oh thank god you updated. I was starting to worry. I'm glad this experience has jogged you out of the fog and into action-land. It's a good place to be. The industry has gotten really icky. I came into it during the start of the ick and left with ick all over me. Luckily I got to meet some amazing people, like your lady along the way.
You're freakishly talented, so I'm sure you'll land somewhere great, even if it isn't this job. But I really hope it is this job because I've been telling everyone I know about how my awesome friends from Chicago might be moving here soon.
You rule. Give that lady a supremely lung-crushing squeeze from me.
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