Random Technical Charity

My computer is broken. An upgrade would be nice, but it was either a new computer or the honeymoon. Saying I need a new machine is stretch. Only the CD/DVD burner is malfunctioning. Strangely, the optical drive burns CDs just fine, but insert a DVD and it's promptly spit out, like a vending machine disagreeing with a crumpled bill.

For years I've received horrible, uninformed, sloppy, and rude technical support (Reports of Dell's India based tech service have sent stock holders running.) Then I switched to a Mac. While the performance of the competing platforms is an argument for another day, I have never heard of or been victim to bad customer service while technically trouble-shooting.

Navigating through the Mac computer assisted directory requires three to four button depressions before reaching a live, polite, and patient human who is not reading from a script and is informed as to the inner workings of their products. When I called about my drive, I was told in a gruff, dismissive manner that my warranty had expired a month earlier, and there was nothing that could be done for me.

I'm more frugal than cheap, so I talked to a friend who knows a guy, who knows a guy about looking at my machine. Pablo was very helpful; Suggesting that I perform system updates and try different types of DVD media because ... blah, blah, etc, etc. Sadly, his advice was more a recipe to find out what wasn't wrong. In the end, everything he suggested, didn't come close to a fix.

My father is a computer wiz. Or at least he was in the sixties, seventies, and eighties. Growing up he provided early model, terrific personal computing gadgets for my budding brain. I used basic-language programs to design a choose your own adventure game, drew directly into the the computer via a drawing tablet, and programed simple animations, my hands typing away for countless hours on my Atari 800XL. Graduating to my first desktop was exciting; I could take that thing apart, change out drives, reformat whatever, and make it faster so rotating a graphic file ten degrees clockwise might take four hours instead of six. I considered replacing the failing optical drive myself, but over the last decade, I've become less of an inside the box kind of guy.

I was warned that Pablo might take his time with my machine, since it's a side job. Just the idea of not having my machine, for even a week, nearly sent my techy, internet dependent heart into withdrawal. While it might be the most expensive option, it would also probably be the fastest; I needed to bring my machine into an Apple retail store.

Every Apple store has a technical support department, lovingly dubbed the Genius Bar. Einstein would be overqualified, but it is staffed by bright, helpful individuals. I only waited ten minutes before getting the opportunity to convey the situation to my curiously named genius: Oleg. DVD drive not working, CDs writing fine, and out of warranty. Having been told, over the phone, I would need to shell out fifty dollars for a diagnosis, I inquired how I would be billed up front. The words "We don't charge to look at your computer" caress my frugal heart. When I informed Oleg my warranty expired in March he said "Two months is close enough."